Going Away

Marcus and I are going away for the weekend. The laptop stays here. The cell phone will be turned off.
We're headed to his parents cabin in Lake City for rest and ritual.

Sicky poo. Time for sleep.

I feel sick. When I swallow my throat hurts.

These last two days I have been going non-stop and my body and my baby have put a halt to it.

Tonight, I will lay in my bed to read and then sleep.

In Good Hands

Today was a good day. I biked up crazy 19th St. with Teri to go to our monthly Windhorse meeting. Then I headed down to Shambhala Center to sit. It actually turned out that instead of sitting, I cried as I looked into Rinpoche's eyes in his photograph. I stopped trying to hold my shit together and let myself weep. What a nice release.

 Then I headed to work at the jail and realized that I need to start my private practice. The energy in the jail is a little too intense for my now super duper sensitive body.

Then I was off to acupuncture where my acupuncturist, Samhitta, was smiling at me...because she knew before I did. :) She shared comforting words of wisdom and ordered me to buy folic acid :) I did. The session relaxed my body. I needed that.

Then off to see Reggie Ray speak and watch Crazy Wisdom with Marcus. I was tender hearted throughout the film. One of my missions for attending this event was to get an interview with Reggie Ray. He granted me one. Yay! and EEEEK!

Then I was HUNGRY and ate some Drunken Noodles with my honey. I was much more pleasant after that. Then we did very pleasant things :)

Now I'm home. My friend Arpita just had a baby! Congrats to all her hard work! She was surprised with a boy.

Two darling midwives have asked me to call them to talk. One is Marcus' sister and the other is his mentor's wife. Good thing because I have lots of questions. We are in good hands. We're in God's hands.Thank you Universe.

BLESSINGS

It's 10:24 and I should be in bed but I want to write about my blessings.

I started my morning with prayer for all the loved ones in my life...including the little bean growing inside of me. Then I headed to the surgery center to be with my niece, her father, and my sister. My niece had eye surgery and everything went well. (I sent the angels into the surgery room.) The first thing my sister whispers into my ear as she hugs me is "you're glowing." I felt radiant.

 While in the waiting room, I shared with my niece and her father that I have a bean growing inside of me. They were overjoyed.  Later on, I went to go see Udella in the recovery room and she said, "Titi, when you have that baby. Makes sure it's a girl." I told her I had a feeling it was. She responds, "Oh good. I do too."

However, let me make it clear that I am detached from the idea that the little bean's sex is female. Really, I would just adore a healthy baby. Boy or girl. Just a healthy happy baby. My honey, insists that I am attached to the baby being a girl. So, if that was the case, may I let that go now :)

All I know is that something is for sure growing inside of me because I want to nap, eat, and be loved. And I am starting to feel a little nausea and headaches sneak in. Hmmmm I'll talk to my acupuncturist about this tomorrow.

Today I am...well I won't generalize, right now I feel in good spirits. I was just at Marcus' place where they had a fire going on outside. His arm was snug around me and I loved it. Before that I was at my last Psychic Horizons class on self healing. We learned how to send clear intentions out into the universe. Life is really taking care of me. My friends have been amazing supporters. Grace is showering me with blessings and you know what? I deserve them. I feel so very grateful.

Tomorrow is bike to work day and I need to be at The St Julien at 7:15 a.m. ...and I'm pregnant so I expect that fatigue could set in. Eek. I can do it. I can do it.

Goodnight, and thank you Great Spirit for all the blessings in my life.

Swollen Breasts

I've been having several symptoms:

1.Swollen breasts: which I think is hot. But ow. They sure hurt sometimes. I love that I can fill my bras with my boobs now :)                                                                                                                               

2.Thirst: My goodness, I wake up and you'd think I was living on a desert and haven't had water in days. Talk about cotton mouth.                                                                                                                 

3. Fatigue: I am feeling sleepy more often. I took my first nap during the day yesterday. I drooled on my    pillow. It was my best sleep yet.                                                                                                    

 4. Mood swings: First I am so damn in love with the idea that we are going to have a baby.

Then two days later I can't believe this is happening, feel pissed at my boyfriend, and want to blow fire at him. His response, "I'm willing to let you blow fire at me if it's coming from your heart and will be of service." Really? Where did this guy come from? Thank you Marcus, you are amazing.                        

 5. Interesting craving: Whole Organic Milk with a sprinkle of cinnamon on top.                                         

 6. The babies I see almost make me cry from joy.                                                                                   

 7. I feel like a snake that is shedding her skin.     

8.  My senses are super aroused.  This is the most blissful part of my pregnancy. Can you say "I want to have sex all the time?"  My. My. Food tastes like I've never tasted before. There is so much flavor and subtleties and the colors are delightful. Okay, this symptom can last after the baby's birth and beyond...please :)                                                                        

More to come, I'm sure :)

You are Pregnant

On Friday, I attended Women's Health to take a pregnancy test. My period was 6 days late. Quite the unusual. Earlier that week, my acupuncturist asked if I had been feeling nauseous after she checked my pulse twice in a row. I said, "No. Why are you picking up on something?" "No, " she responds. I told her my partner and I were using protection. She looked at me quizzically and then said, "Well, a baby is going to come when it wants to come no matter what you use."  She was dropping BIG hints. So, it wasn't a huge surprise that come Friday after peeing in a cup, the nurse sat me down and looked at me smiling and said, "You are pregnant." I gasped with joy, fear, relief, shock. I am still working on registering this new information.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 months. We met at a meditation center. He is a dear dear man and I felt drawn to him after he told me he had recently returned from a vision quest in Colombia, my mother's home land. He has the heart of a Lion, is funny, caring, and a lovely lovely spiritual being.

We are about to embark on this journey of parenthood. I have mixed feelings. Shock, delight, terror, rage, joy, bliss, love, frustration, doubt, and faith.

I didn't plan this event.  I need to let go of my original plans to begin to write a fresh script. This blog is my attempt at writing the current script of my present life. Here it goes.