Thursday, July 28, 2011

Di Crema Gelato and Hot Dogs





Enough said.

For some strange reason

I can't respond to comments. Does anyone know why?

Also, I've been nauseous every day all day for the last 3 days. :( Sad Doris.
But I'm POOPING!! :) Delighted Doris.
My dreams are way wacky. I think I need to exercise every day so my body wants to rest instead of dream it's little head off.
Sometimes, I miss my mom. I'm glad she's only 40 minutes away. Once I'm out of my housemating situation I'm heading to her house and then Miriam's house for a sleepover party.
We move this weekend. I tell my little one, "We're going to live with Daddy soon!"
 She/he is very excited about this.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Tid to the bits

I thought I'd be on here blogging every day. Nope. I am finding myself to be too busy. I'm also frequently tired.

We are also house hunting. I'm counting on securing a place within the next 3 days.

 Bringing a baby into the world sure takes a lot of energy. I'm growing the placenta for the little bean. My goodness, my body is working. How did my mom do this 5 times? WOW.

Yesterday, I told my little brother I was preggo. His response was complete awe. He is so precious and is full of love. He said, "I can't wait to meet the beautiful one."
Life is good. God is taking care of me and I feel gratitude even when I'm crabby.

 Oooh yeah,
Sometimes, I talk to the bean in English and sometimes in Spanish.
I intend to start learning songs to sing to it. I also want to play piano for him/her. Today I played a little guitar and sang. I think he/she liked it :)

Peace out ox

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Goodies



Okay, okay, I'm digging this going to be a mom thing. I like that there's a little bean inside of me growing all sorts of stuff. My bean is a little tanner than this photo ;) So, this creation is the size of a pinto bean and my uterus is the size of a grapefruit instead of a fist. Awww so, it's eyelid folds and ears are forming and the tip of it's nose too. Little dude/dudette has elbows and beginnings of fingers and toes. Awww!

Today, I took my baby to the mountains and hung out in nature. We found the perfect spot to camp in. Marcus helped me put up my tent. I'll be hovered by momma trees. I feel protected. We'll (baby and I) return to the camping spot on Wednesday for a retreat.

Today, I put out into the universe that we are manifesting a loving home and I contacted a prevous housing manager and I think things are underway! Hip!Hip! Hooray!

Baby feels happy and less stressed about that...because I do :) I'm currently reading, "The Secret life of the Unborn Child" that one of Marcus' clients gave to him to give to me. (Marcus already read 1/3 of it.) It talks about how aware baby is right now and how my feelings impact baby. It also talked about the importance of my relationship with daddy and making sure baby knows both mommy and daddy's voice. It was the cutest thing the other day to see Marcus talking to my lower belly and singing to it too. Awwww! Cuteness.

Also, I've decided to get a sonogram to see what the sex is. Initially, I was against this and Marcus was for it. However, Chris, my friend from Blue Man Group, talked about how he wanted to learn what the sex was when he was becoming a daddy so he could bond as soon as possible with baby. Ya know, have more of a connection with baby. I want that for Marcus and wee one. So, once all my insurance stuff rolls through and it's near time to be able to identify baby's reproductive organs, I plan to have 1 sonogram.

Tonight, I wrote my dear friend Kelly about all this constipation and farty stuff that is going on. She gave me great advice and was humorous too. I am so darn grateful for her and the mommas that have come before me.

My mom called me today saying that I could shop in her closet for maternity clothes. She said that she is a little big and sometimes buys maternity clothes that fit her. She's so dang cute. I may be needing some clothes soon. I'm also planning on purchasing that maternity band so I can still wear some of my own clothes.

Okay, time for bed and good dreams. Thank you God for the gifts you have blessed me with. ox

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Here's a little bit more about my experience of being prego.

Sometimes, a pregnant momma has some complaints:

Like what the hell is up with this nausea?
And why am I waking up at crazy hours and unable to get good restful sleep?
How come I sometimes want to strangle people?
Can I please take a break from my senses being assaulted?
Why is meditation so damn difficult?
Because I pregnant dammit.
And this is supposedly a blessing.
I know darn well, that it will become more apparent.
It's just that I'm tired of feeling teary and not knowing why.
It's time to surrender...surrender to no longer being single,
to no longer only being responsible for me, to having to communicate and compromise with my firey partner,
and to let go...let go, let go, let go, and let god.
May thy will be done, not mine.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Nausea, sleep, fried food and blessings

Holy moly my.

Today I woke up nauseous, bought lemonade, and biked to Marcus' house. He made my hangry self a yummy egg burrito. Hangry=hungry+angry. I felt much kinder after eating. My nausea subsided. Marcus was happier too. :) We had cuddle time.

Then, I was off to safeway where I by chance met a fellow AA'er and we had lunch together. She's been sober 11 years. AWESOME. I ate mac n cheese, potato wedges, and boneless wings dipped in bar b que sauce. WOW. (Makes me want to vomit now, but it was satiating at the time.)

Following the fried lunch, I biked home for a 2 hour nap. Drool and all. My mom texted me to see how I was doing. Sweetie :) Then I got up to make a meal for my friend Arpita who just had a baby. She said she wanted to see me. Yes! That means that I might get to meet the little one. I cooked up some turkey sausage, basil, sauce, and spaghetti, a salad, bread, watermelon and lemonade. And YES! I met Khalil. He is perfect. His lips, eyes, hair, ears, nose, skin, legs...everything is simply perfect. Ahhhhhhh. Arpita is a fierce warrior to push out that 8 pound baby.

Then I headed to a Latino AA gathering where I was reminded to pray and meditate and to thank my higher power for all the blessings in my life, not only when life is good, but most importantly when life is hard.

Following that I met Marcus around 9:30 and we went on a hot date to Taco Bell. I know! When was the last time I hit that joint? YEARS. And it was so damn good.

By the way, I really love Marcus. God just dropped him in my life at the perfect time.
Thank you for all my blessings.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Going Away

Marcus and I are going away for the weekend. The laptop stays here. The cell phone will be turned off.
We're headed to his parents cabin in Lake City for rest and ritual.


Thursday, June 23, 2011

Sicky poo. Time for sleep.


I feel sick. When I swallow my throat hurts.

These last two days I have been going non-stop and my body and my baby have put a halt to it.

Tonight, I will lay in my bed to read and then sleep.

In Good Hands


Today was a good day. I biked up crazy 19th St. with Teri to go to our monthly Windhorse meeting. Then I headed down to Shambhala Center to sit. It actually turned out that instead of sitting, I cried as I looked into Rinpoche's eyes in his photograph. I stopped trying to hold my shit together and let myself weep. What a nice release.

 Then I headed to work at the jail and realized that I need to start my private practice. The energy in the jail is a little too intense for my now super duper sensitive body.

Then I was off to acupuncture where my acupuncturist, Samhitta, was smiling at me...because she knew before I did. :) She shared comforting words of wisdom and ordered me to buy folic acid :) I did. The session relaxed my body. I needed that.

Then off to see Reggie Ray speak and watch Crazy Wisdom with Marcus. I was tender hearted throughout the film. One of my missions for attending this event was to get an interview with Reggie Ray. He granted me one. Yay! and EEEEK!

Then I was HUNGRY and ate some Drunken Noodles with my honey. I was much more pleasant after that. Then we did very pleasant things :)

Now I'm home. My friend Arpita just had a baby! Congrats to all her hard work! She was surprised with a boy.

Two darling midwives have asked me to call them to talk. One is Marcus' sister and the other is his mentor's wife. Good thing because I have lots of questions. We are in good hands. We're in God's hands.Thank you Universe.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

BLESSINGS



It's 10:24 and I should be in bed but I want to write about my blessings.

I started my morning with prayer for all the loved ones in my life...including the little bean growing inside of me. Then I headed to the surgery center to be with my niece, her father, and my sister. My niece had eye surgery and everything went well. (I sent the angels into the surgery room.) The first thing my sister whispers into my ear as she hugs me is "you're glowing." I felt radiant.

 While in the waiting room, I shared with my niece and her father that I have a bean growing inside of me. They were overjoyed.  Later on, I went to go see Udella in the recovery room and she said, "Titi, when you have that baby. Makes sure it's a girl." I told her I had a feeling it was. She responds, "Oh good. I do too."

However, let me make it clear that I am detached from the idea that the little bean's sex is female. Really, I would just adore a healthy baby. Boy or girl. Just a healthy happy baby. My honey, insists that I am attached to the baby being a girl. So, if that was the case, may I let that go now :)

All I know is that something is for sure growing inside of me because I want to nap, eat, and be loved. And I am starting to feel a little nausea and headaches sneak in. Hmmmm I'll talk to my acupuncturist about this tomorrow.

Today I am...well I won't generalize, right now I feel in good spirits. I was just at Marcus' place where they had a fire going on outside. His arm was snug around me and I loved it. Before that I was at my last Psychic Horizons class on self healing. We learned how to send clear intentions out into the universe. Life is really taking care of me. My friends have been amazing supporters. Grace is showering me with blessings and you know what? I deserve them. I feel so very grateful.

Tomorrow is bike to work day and I need to be at The St Julien at 7:15 a.m. ...and I'm pregnant so I expect that fatigue could set in. Eek. I can do it. I can do it.

Goodnight, and thank you Great Spirit for all the blessings in my life.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Swollen Breasts


I've been having several symptoms:
1.Swollen breasts: which I think is hot. But ow. They sure hurt sometimes. I love that I can fill my bras with my boobs now :)                                                                                                                               
2.Thirst: My goodness, I wake up and you'd think I was living on a desert and haven't had water in days. Talk about cotton mouth.                                                                                                                 
3. Fatigue: I am feeling sleepy more often. I took my first nap during the day yesterday. I drooled on my    pillow. It was my best sleep yet.                                                                                                    
 4. Mood swings: First I am so damn in love with the idea that we are going to have a baby.
Then two days later I can't believe this is happening, feel pissed at my boyfriend, and want to blow fire at him. His response, "I'm willing to let you blow fire at me if it's coming from your heart and will be of service." Really? Where did this guy come from? Thank you Marcus, you are amazing.                        
 5. Interesting craving: Whole Organic Milk with a sprinkle of cinnamon on top.                                         
 6. The babies I see almost make me cry from joy.                                                                                   
 7. I feel like a snake that is shedding her skin.     
8.  My senses are super aroused.  This is the most blissful part of my pregnancy. Can you say "I want to have sex all the time?"  My. My. Food tastes like I've never tasted before. There is so much flavor and subtleties and the colors are delightful. Okay, this symptom can last after the baby's birth and beyond...please :)                                                                        

More to come, I'm sure :)

You are Pregnant

On Friday, I attended Women's Health to take a pregnancy test. My period was 6 days late. Quite the unusual. Earlier that week, my acupuncturist asked if I had been feeling nauseous after she checked my pulse twice in a row. I said, "No. Why are you picking up on something?" "No, " she responds. I told her my partner and I were using protection. She looked at me quizzically and then said, "Well, a baby is going to come when it wants to come no matter what you use."  She was dropping BIG hints. So, it wasn't a huge surprise that come Friday after peeing in a cup, the nurse sat me down and looked at me smiling and said, "You are pregnant." I gasped with joy, fear, relief, shock. I am still working on registering this new information.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 months. We met at a meditation center. He is a dear dear man and I felt drawn to him after he told me he had recently returned from a vision quest in Colombia, my mother's home land. He has the heart of a Lion, is funny, caring, and a lovely lovely spiritual being.

We are about to embark on this journey of parenthood. I have mixed feelings. Shock, delight, terror, rage, joy, bliss, love, frustration, doubt, and faith.

I didn't plan this event.  I need to let go of my original plans to begin to write a fresh script. This blog is my attempt at writing the current script of my present life. Here it goes.